Using a public bathroom is not fun. It’s stressful, smelly, and you have to be constantly vigilant to your surroundings. It’s essentially the complete opposite experience that you get while at home, except for the smell. It’s always going to smell.
Beyond the hassles of this poop and run life, there is something that drives me insane about public restrooms … People who don’t wash their hands.
Now, I’m no germ-a-phoebe. I’ve taken advantage of the 17-second rule on plenty of occasions. But, there is a huge difference between imbibing in the delicacy of floor candy, and having to touch a door knob after someone what just handled their junk or had their hands in their butt or vajayjay.
It literally takes 30 seconds to wash all the germy germs off your hands after you piddle, but it only takes one instance of not washing your hands to forever be dead in my eyes. There are a couple of acquaintances I can’t pee with anymore, and that’s a relationship that you can never get back.
I’m also a realist; I know it’s impossible to force people to wash their mitts 100% of the time. My high powered robot bathroom attendant that Tasers people who try to escape is still in the developmental phase. (Patent pending) And the robot to clear out the piles of unconscious slobs is still only a blueprint at this point. (You can have that one)
The ironic thing is that most modern bathrooms are built with germs in mind. They have automatic flushers, faucets, and paper towel dispensers, all of which are wondrous inventions that rival the airplane. But then you go to leave the restroom and OOPS! … You’re met with a door that only swings in.
Really? REALLY?!
I know that we’re still light years away from Star Trek crap like automatic doors, but I think that making public bathroom doors that swing OUT from the inside just might be smart enough to work.
Until we get to that point as a functioning society, remember … ALL HUMANS MUST WASH THEIR HANDS BEFORE RETURNING TO LIFE.
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